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The News letter, 020407








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By the way, on some of the pictures, if you hover your pointer over the picture, ya might find a comment from me on it,
now that I've learned how to do that.



Now its time for the show to start & I think we'll start now!!!!


Illusioned Optics

This is a great one, It's a pps file so if you need the viewer
Click here


Did Ya' Know: 020330
------------------------------------
In which American city is Independence Hall?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

The first Republican Party Convention was held in
Philadelphia in 1856.

 - Interesting Liberty Bell trivia...

The bell was originally cast by the Whitechapel Foundry
in London, England (1752).  The bell cracked the first
time it was rung and was then recast by Pass & Stow
Philadelphia 1753.

The bell weighed 2080 pounds when it was cast.

The strike note of the Bell is E-flat.  There are three
known recordings of the Bell.  Two were made in the
1940s for radio stations to play; the third is
currently owned by Columbia Records.

On the bell, "Pennsylvania" is spelled "Pensylvania".

From YOU The Reader's Dept.:
On the ladybug item, I think you mean 5,000,000 and in
5 Million; not 5,000. That would make only 16 to 17 eggs
laid.  --Mad



*grin* It makes people wonder!
~AIKEN~


When the husband finally died, his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.
No sooner were the papers delivered when a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that James died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea."
The widow replied, "I nursed him night and day, so of course I know he died of diarrhea.  But I thought it would be better for people to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he really was."






Education is what you get from reading the small print; experience is what you get from not reading it.
 
~~~LYNN~~~
www.bikerlynn.com



WITCH OF THE SOUTH

You all remember that in the movie "The Wizard of Oz", the wicked witch
of the East was killed by the falling house, the witch of the West
stalked Dorothy and was killed by water, and Glenda, the Witch of the
North helped Dorothy get home. There is no mention of the witch of the
South. Here's what she would probably be like:

CLOTHING
West: Black hat and cape
North: Pink formal dress
South: Tube top and spandex

NOTABLE FEATURES
West: Green Nose
North: Flawless Beauty
South: Beehive Hairdo

FAVORITE DRINK:
West: Potions
North: Morning Dew
South: Moonshine/Mint Julep

FOOD
West: Apples from talking trees
North: Poppies
South: Moon Pies

HOUSE
West: Large black castle
North: In the sky?
South: Why else would tornados be attracted to mobile homes?

TRANSPORTATION
West: Broom
North: Bubble
South: Pink Cadillac (That was a yellow bricked ROAD, not a sidewalk)

FRIENDS
West: Flying Monkeys
North: Munchkins
South: Hound Dogs

DESIRES
West: The ruby slippers
North: For Dorothy to learn her lesson
South: A full mouth of teeth

FEARS
West: Water, a house falling on her
North: She'll mess up her hair
South: Revenuers

WEAPONS
West: Ball of fire
North: Snow
South: Shot Gun

FAVORITE SAYINGS
West: I'll get you, my pretty
North: There's no place like home
South: Ya'll ain't from around here, are ya?

DEALING WITH PROBLEMS
West: Make Dorothy wait until the sand runs out on the hourglass
North: Make Dorothy run all over Oz looking for the Emerald City
South: Just click them heels, Darlin', and get yourself home


     This joke and others like it, can be found in:
                     The Loony Bin
             http://www.theloonies.co.uk/





Passover is approaching. At the sedar table, every Jewish child will
be
retold the story of Moses and the Pharoah, and how God brought boils,
locusts, hail and the other plagues onto the Egyptians. Yet in spite of
this overwealming evidence of God's intensions, Pharoah refused to let
the Jews go, until a tenth plague, the death of the first-born children
was inflicted on every Egyptian home, passing over the Jewish homes.
Only after this tragedy did the Pharoah relent and let the Jews leave
slavery and Egypt to begin their journey to the promised land.

        This has been known for generations. What has not been known is why
the
Phaaroah, in the face of such overwealming evidence would refuse to
release the Jews after the first nine plagues. It took eight years of
research by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, the renouned psychologist and nurse,
to find the definative answer. Dr. Kubler-Ross spent those years
studying the Dead Sea Scrolls before discovering the answer. And once
found, it was obvious.....The Pharoah was still in de Nile. (By Stan Kegel)





Know this feeling ?

An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning,
having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her
hand & she responds, "Don't touch me."

"Why not," he asks. She answers back, "Because I'm
dead."

The husband says to her, "What are you talking about?
We're both lying here in bed together & talking to one another."

The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes
you think you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead because I woke up this morning
& nothing hurts!"


While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy,
every so often, you got umpteen shots, whether you needed them or
not.  The carrier pilot in front of me as we passed thru the line
asked for a drink of water after receiving what seemed to be at
least a dozen different needles.

The Corpsman asked if he was dizzy.

"No, not at all." he replied.  "I just wantta see if I'm still water-tight."


Bill and Lynn had married under none too happy circumstances, and their
married life had not been anything to brag about either.
But when, after they had lived together for thirty five years, Bill
went to the local judge to ask for an annulment, the whole of Michigan
gasped with amazement.
A date for the hearing was set, however, and when the time came the
judge demanded to know the grounds on which Bill based his demand for
an annulment.
"It's like this, your Honor," answered Bill, "I've just learned that
Lynn's father never had a license to carry a gun."





John Smith was the only Protestant to move into the large Catholic
neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big
juicy steak on his grill.
Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This
went on each Friday during lent. On the last Friday of Lent, the
neighborhood men got together and decided that something just HAD to be done
about John; he was just tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent and
they couldn't take it anymore.
They decided to try and convert him to Catholicism.  They went over and
talked with him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his
neighbors and become a Catholic.
     They took him to Church and the Priest sprinkled some water over him
and told him "Your were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now
you are a Catholic."  The men of the neighborhood were SO relieved, now
their biggest lent temptation was resolved.
   The next year's lent rolled around. The first Friday of Lent came and
just at supper time when the neighborhood was setting down to their fish
dinners came the wafting smell of steak cooking on a grill.
The neighborhood men could not believe their noses!  What was going on???
They called each other up and decided to meet over in John's yard to see if
he had forgotten it was a Friday in Lent.
    The group arrived just in time to see John standing over his grill with
a small pitcher of water. He was pouring small droplets over his steak on
the grill and saying "you were born a cow, you were raised a cow, and now
you are a fish"


Sorry folks, happened while I was
doing the doorstore rt.



Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry", said the first
one. "Me, too", said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."
They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of
worms. They ate and ate and ate 'til they could eat no more. "I'm so
full I don't think I can fly back up to the tree," said the first one.
"Me neither, let's just lay here and bask in the warm sun", said the
second. "OK" said the first. They plopped down, basking in the sun. No
sooner than they had fallen asleep, a big fat tomcat snuck up and
gobbled them up. As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought,
"I just luvvvv baskin' robins."






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ITALIANS



I am sure for most second generation Italian American
children who grew up in the 40's and 50's there was a
definite distinction between us and them. We were
Italians, everybody else, the Irish the Germans, the
Poles, they were Americans.I was well into adulthood
before I realized I was an American.  I had been born
American and lived here all my life but Americans were
people who ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on
mushy white bread. I had no animosity towards them,
it's just I thought ours was the better way with our bread
man,  egg man, vegetable man, the chicken man, ice
man to name a few of the peddlers who came to our
neighborhoods.  We knew them, they knew us.

Americans went to the A&P. It amazed me that some
friends and classmates on Thanksgiving and Christmas
ate only turkey with stuffing, potatoes, and cranberry
sauce! We had turkey, but after antipasto, soup,
lasagna, meatballs and salad. In case someone came in
who didn't like turkey we also had a roast of beef. Soon
after we were eating fruits, nuts, pastries and
homemade cookies sprinkled with little colored things.

This is where you learned to eat a seven course meal
between noon and four PM, how to handle hot
chestnuts and put peaches in wine.Italians live a
romance with food.

Sundays we would wake up to the smell of garlic and
onions frying in olive oil. We always had macaroni and
sauce. Sunday would not be Sunday without going to
mass. Of course you couldn't eat before mass because
you had to fast before receiving communion. We knew
when we got home we'd find meatballs frying and
nothing tasted better than newly cooked meatballs with
crisp bread dipped into a pot of hot sauce.

Another difference between them and us was we had
gardens! Not just with flowers, but tomatoes, peppers,
basil, lettuce and "cucuzza". Everybody had a grapevine
and fig tree. In the fall we drank homemade wine
arguing over who made the best. Those gardens thrived
because we had something our American friends didn't
seem to have. We had grandparents.

It's not that they didn't have grandparents. It's just they
didn't live in the same house or street. We ate with our
grandparents and God forbid we didn't visit them 5
times a week. I can still remember my grandmother
telling us how she came to America when she was
young, on the "boat".

I'll never forget the holidays when the relatives would
gather at my grandparents house, the women in the
kitchen, the men in the livingroom, the kids everywhere.
I must have a hundred cousins. My grandfather sat in
the middle of it all smoking his DiNobili cigar so proud of
his family and how well they had done.

When my grandparents died, things began to change.
Family gatherings were fewer and something seemed to
be missing. Although we did get together, usually at my
mothers house, I always had the feeling grandmom and
grandpop were there.

It's understandable things change. We all have families
of our own and grandchildren of our own. Today we visit
once in a while or meet at wakes or weddings. Other
things have also changed. The old house my
grandparents bought is now covered with aluminum
siding. A green lawn covers the soil that grew the
tomatoes. THERE WAS NO ONE TO COVER THE
FIGTREE SO IT DIED.

The holidays have changed. We still make family
"rounds" but somehow things have become more
formal. The great quantities of food we consumed,
without any ill effects, is not good for us anymore. Too
much starch, too much cholesterol, too may calories in
the pastries. The difference between "us" and "them"
isn't so easily defined anymore, and I guess that's good.
My grandparents were Italian/Italians, my parents were
Italian/Americans. I'm an American and proud of it, just
as my grandparents would want me to be. We are all
Americans now....the Irish, Germans, Poles, all US
citizens. But somehow I still feel a little bit Italian. Call it
culture... call it roots... I'm not sure what it is. All I do
know is that my children, my nieces and nephews, have
been cheated out of a wonderful piece of our heritage..
they never knew my grandparents...

Author Unknown






Did Ya' Know: 020331
------------------------------------
Paul McCartney is responsible for 32 #1 hits on the
Billboard charts; more #1's than any other artist.

The democratic custom of shaking hands instead of bowing
at White House receptions was initiated in the Blue Room
by Thomas Jefferson early in his first term as U.S. president.

The muskellunge, a fierce fighting fish that can weigh
in at around 70 pounds, is the official state fish of
Wisconsin.

From crocodile farms, Australia exports about 5,000 crocodile
skins a year.  Most go to Paris, where a crocodile purse
can sell for more than $10,000.

*grin* It makes people wonder!
~AIKEN~


Laurene's Oatmeal Cookie Candy submitted by Laurene

Boil for 2 minutes and cool for 6-7 minutes:
2 cups sugar ( you may use less, it's very sweet).
1/2 c. milk
1/2 c. butter
Add:
2 c. oats
1/4 c cocoa
1/4 c. malt ( or no malt and 1/2 c. cocoa total).
1/2 c. choppped nuts
1/2 c. cocoanut
Working quickly, drop on waxed paper, let harden, enjoy!


Ice Cream Topping:

This is a recipe that I came up with long ago and we just love it
very much.   It is very easy to make and taste wonderful over a
bowl of great vanilla icecream.  Don't skimp on icecream with
a topping like this one.
1 cup of white sugar
1and 1/2 cups heavy whipping cream
*********************************************************
If you have never melted sugar before be careful.
It is so easy to get burned--badly.
DO NOT LET CHILDREN DO THIS..
I NEVER LET THEM NEAR THE STOVE WHEN I DO THIS.
Take the sugar and put it into a heavy dry skillet.
Heat this over medium heat stirring constantly. 
I use a wooden spoon to do this also.
Once the sugar has turned to a liquid golden syrup remove
it from the heat for a moment. 
Quickly add the cream to it all at the same time.
You are going to have this bubble up and think it is a ruined mess.
Put it back onto the heat.
Now it will slowly turn to a rich creamy golden caramel.
Keep stirring this until all of the sugar has been dissolved.
If you wish you can serve this right away over the icecream
of your choice. 
You can use the next topping also and have two scoops covered with two
different and very good toppings. 

12 ounces of very good chocolate ( 3 bars of GHIRADELLI) chopped well
(I use semi sweet chocolate for this)
1/4 cup butter
*********************************************
Melt the butter in a skillet and once it is very hot
--almost burned light brown add the chocolate and remove
this from the heat.  You can do this with a double boiler if you
wish.  I just stir this until the chocolate is melted. 
Pour this warm over the top of ice cream and you will have a
crispy chocolate topping that is going to be great. 
 
If you want to have a Banana Split take one banana and
cut it right down the center lenthwise and place in the bottom
of a oblong dish.  Place two scoops of icecream in the middle
between the two banana slices and cover with each of the two
toppings. Top with whipped cream and cherries and chopped
nuts if desired.


Talking about Coke heads



Sock it to me Cake by request

1 (18.5 ounce) package yellow cake mix
1/2 cup white sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1 cup chopped pecans
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
 ****************************************************
Mix together the cake mix, sugar, oil, eggs, pecans,
and vanilla. Fold in the sour cream.
Put half the batter in a bundt cake pan.
Mix the brown sugar and cinnamon and sprinkle over the batter
in the pan. Pour the remainder of the batter on top.
Bake at 350 degrees for 70 minutes until cake tests done.


Did Ya' Know: 020401
------------------------------------
Some lady beetle, or lady bug, colonies have been reported to
contain as many as 500 gallons of beetles. A gallon of beetles
contains from 72,000 to 80,000 adults.

The National Institute of Mental Health places fear of flying
(aerophobia), second only to fear of public speaking.

The ball used in hurling is also known as a "sliotar" or
"sliothar". The ball usually has a cork center and is covered
with horsehide.  Hurling for women is called "camogie".

The female Victorian aristocracy in Britain would change their
clothes at least four times a day.

*grin* It makes people wonder!
~AIKEN~


I agree with this



& now your at the end of the letter, I hope that you enjoyed

The times on this one are 291 seconds for 28K modem,
172 seconds for 56k modem & 79 seconds for cable/dsl

thanks, David 1