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The News letter, 020319-1






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By the way, on some of the pictures, if you hover your pointer over the picture, ya might find a comment from me on it,
now that I've learned how to do that.



Now its time for the show to start & I think we'll start now!!!!




Bill was talking to Doug one day, and said, "My wife suggested that I
take up a new sport this summer."

Doug said, "Wow, that's nice. It shows that she has your interests at
heart. Did she make any suggestions?"

Bill replied, "As a matter of fact, she did. By the way, how do you
play this Russian Roulette?


The other day I was in the local auto part store. A lady comes in and
asks for a seven ten cap. We all looked at each other and said,
"What's a seven ten cap?"

She said "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost some how
and I need a new one."

"What kind of a car is it on," they asked? Now I'm thinking maybe an
old Datsun Seven Ten, but no, she said its a Buick. "OK lady, how big
is it?"

She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.

"What does it do?," we asked.

She said, "I don't know, but its always been there."

One of us gave her a note pad and asked her if she could draw a
picture of it.

So she makes a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center
she writes 710.

The guys behind the counter are looking at it upside down as she
writes it, and they just fall down behind the counter laughing so hard
in hysterics.

One guy said " I think you want an oil cap."

She said, "Seven Ten cap, oil cap, I don't care what you call it, I
just need one, and I don't see what is so funny about it."


========================= The Thieving Joker =========================
Stolen from: Bonehead-Of-The-Day
To sign up --> http://Bonehead.Oddballs.com
All materials written by Jerry Lerman are Copyright 2002 by Jerry
Lerman. All Rights Reserved.
==================== http://www.ThievingJoker.net ====================

Bonehead award one, a "too dumb to be a criminal bonehead award," goes
to a Johannesburg thief, fleeing from zoo staff and visitors, who took
refuge by climbing a high fence and jumping into the tigers' den. He
was killed while the tigers played with him, the way cats play with
mice. Reuters via Excite News 11-Mar-02
http://news.excite.com/article/id/217490|oddlyenough|03-11-2002::10:41
|reuters.html or http://shorterlink.com/?H8AGR3

------

The award goes to a hit and run driver who, after hitting a car,
causing his SUV to begin flaming, made a beeline to his home, with the
car still in flames, and who drove it into his garage without first
lifting the garage doors, ultimately setting his garage and home on
fire. He's been charged with many different things.

WGAL (Lancaster, Pennsylvania -- Channel 8) 24-Feb-02

------

The trouble with lawmakers is that their job is to make laws, all day
long, all the time.

Bonehead award three goes to the European Union which is proposing a
law that makes it illegal to throw away one of those musical birthday
cards or toys that play music, for if you do, you will be fined $140
AND they will take away your "wheeley" rubbish bin and instead make
you use transparent garbage bags so they can easily see if you threw
anymore of them into the garbage.

And how will they know if you threw away a musical thingy in the first
place?

With laws comes bureaucracy. They will hire an "army of dustbin
detectives" who will make sure people haven't put ANYTHING electrical
into their garbage.

Additionally, complying will cost companies and local government an
amazing $1 billion each year!! Even though just .003 of the total
garbage is made up of electrical equipment.

What are you supposed to do with your happy birthday card and light
bulbs? Local government is supposed to ship them back to the
manufacturers.

The original idea behind the law is noble. To keep computers, TVs,
radios and things like that out of the garbage but, alas, these are,
after all, lawmakers.

UK Sunday People 3-Mar-02


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Simon moves to sell assets

Simon Transportation Services and its subsidiary, Dick Simon Trucking, filed a motion in bankruptcy court March 11 seeking approval of conditions for the sale of its assets.

The company filed a motion seeking an order from the court approving bidding and auction procedures, and a sale date.

Accompanying the filing was the outline of a potential bid from Central Freight Lines for the acquisition of Simons assets. Central is controlled by Jerry Moyes, Simons current majority stockholder.

Simon wants to implement a four-week sale process during which it will seek additional bids and allow interested parties time to perform due diligence. An auction will be conducted at a hearing before the bankruptcy court, as soon as the court allows.

Also, on March 8, Simon met the conditions necessary to keep its auto and general liability insurance coverage. Simon CEO Jon Isaacson said, Our customers and drivers can rest assured that our operations are properly insured.

 

On The Web - -

http://www.etrucker.com/apps/news/article.asp?id=16446




Silver Star Express Trucking Services
Get Live Advice and Call me NOW
at Keen, Your Personal Advisor.
http://www.keen.com/MsSilverStarr?ref=1
 
............Keep The Shiny Side Up!........


Murder suspect may be hitching rides with truckers



Christopher Allan Fiegehen is considered armed and dangerous. If you see him, contact local authorities or the local FBI office.

For more information and additional photos Click here

Christopher Allan Fiegehen, sought on charges of murder and attempted murder in Nevada, may be hitching rides across the country with truckers, according to Nevada police.

Fiegehen was last seen in Mobile, Ala., on March 8, according to the Douglas County (Nev.) Sheriffs Department. Fiegehen was believed to be hitchhiking, possibly with unwitting truckers, and may have traveled to Alabama from Southern California via I-10.

Fiegehen is considered armed and dangerous, and may be carrying a .357 caliber handgun. He allegedly shot his ex-girlfriend's mother and stabbed her stepfather to death at their residence in Minden, Nev., Feb. 10.

Fiegehen, 23, is a white male, 5 feet 10 inches tall, 180 pounds, with scars on both of his arms. His hair may be brown or blond; he changes his appearance with little trouble. He uses the aliases Allan Fiegehen, Christopher Allan and Chris Allan. He is a heavy drinker.

In what may be a telling clue if Fiegehen is still in Alabama, he is an avid snowboarder and often speaks of it.

Anyone who has spotted Fiegehen should contact local authorities or their local FBI office at www.fbi.gov/contact/fo/fo.htm.

On The Web - -

http://www.etrucker.com/apps/news/article.asp?id=16455



Silver Star Express Trucking Services
Get Live Advice and Call me NOW
at Keen, Your Personal Advisor.
http://www.keen.com/MsSilverStarr?ref=1
 
........Keep The Shiny Side Up!...........(@)(@)===(@)=>

Chicken Pulls Off Great Escape

March 12, 2002

Britain's luckiest chicken is living a life of luxury after surviving a lorry crash on the way to a slaughterhouse and escaping into the countryside.

      The bird, named Lucky, fled into undergrowth after the truck overturned in an horrific accident which left 2,000 of her fellow broilers dead or injured.

      As 12 workers and police rounded up the surviving chickens Lucky sneaked away from the crash sight and hid among brambles until darkness.

      She even managed to keep her head down and stay hidden as police drafted in floodlights to clear the accident site after nightfall.

      It wasn't until Rob Hill and Angie Greenaway, campaigners for pressure group Compassion in World Farming, visited the site a week later that the missing hen resurfaced.

      Rob, 37, said: "We went to lay some flowers as a memorial to the dead chickens and were amazed to see this white hen just 20 yards from the motorway.

      "We couldn't believe our eyes. It seemed amazing that a chicken could have survived the accident and then spent eight days evading the foxes."

      She and 6,000 other broilers had been just a few miles from the slaughterhouse when the lorry carrying them overturned just yards from the M3.

      Thousands of birds were spilled onto the A272 near Winchester, Hants, but Lucky's cage was hurled onto the grass verge.

      Rob said: "We've named her Lucky - to survive the trauma she's been through she must be the luckiest chicken alive."

      To see more of 2dayuk go to http://www.2dayuk.com

On The Web - -

http://www.truck.net/news2/2002/03/12/eng-2dayuk/eng-2dayuk_100618_48_9102215529419.html



Silver Star Express Trucking Services
Get Live Advice and Call me NOW
at Keen, Your Personal Advisor.
http://www.keen.com/MsSilverStarr?ref=1
 
 
............Keep The Shiny Side Up!.........


Now that wasn't nice !


My four-year-old son, Shane, had been asking for a puppy for over a
month, but his Daddy kept saying, "No dogs! A dog will dig up the garden
and chase the ducks and kill our rabbits. No dog, and that's final!"

Each night, Shane prayed for a puppy, and each morning he was
disappointed when there was no puppy waiting outside. I was peeling
potatoes for dinner, and he was sitting on the floor at my feet asking
for the thousandth time, "Why won't Daddy let me have a puppy?"

"Because they are a lot of trouble. Don't cry. Maybe Daddy will change
his mind someday," I encouraged him.

"No, he won't, and I'll never have a puppy in a million years," Shane
wailed. I looked into his dirty, tear-streaked face. How could we deny
him his one wish? So I said the words that were first spoken by Eve, "I
know a way to make Daddy change his mind."

"Really?" Shane wiped away his tears and sniffed. I handed him a potato.


"Take this and carry it with you until it turns into a puppy," I
whispered. "Never let it out of your sight for one minute. Keep it with
you all the time, and on the third day, tie a string around it and drag
it around the yard and see what happens!"

Shane grabbed the potato with both hands. "Mama, how do you make a
potato into a puppy?" He turned it over and over in his little hands.

"Shhh! It's a secret!" I whispered and sent him on his way.

"Lord, you know what a woman must do to keep peace in her home!" I
prayed. Shane faithfully carried his potato around for two days; he
slept with it, bathed with it and talked to it. On the third day, I said
to my husband, "We really should get a pet for Shane."

"What makes you think he needs a pet?" my husband leaned against the
doorway.

"Well, he's been carrying a potato around with him for days. He calls it
"Wally" and says it is his pet. He sleeps with it on his pillow and
right now he has a string tied to it and he's dragging it around the
yard," I said.

"A potato?" my husband asked and looked out the window and watched Shane
taking his potato for a walk.

"It will break his heart when the potato gets mushy and rots," I said
and started getting out food for lunch, "Besides, every time I try to
peel potatoes for dinner, Shane cries because he says I'm killing
Wally's family."

"A potato?" my husband asked, "My son has a pet potato?"

"Well," I said shrugging, "you said he couldn't have a puppy. He was so
disappointed, in his mind; he decided he had to have a pet."
.
"That's crazy!" my husband said.

"Maybe you're right, but explain to me why he is dragging that potato
around the yard on a string," I said.

My husband watched our son for a few more minutes. "I'll bring home a
puppy tonight; I'll stop by the animal shelter after work. I guess a
puppy can't be that much trouble," he sighed, "It's better than a
potato."

That night, Shane's Daddy brought home a wiggling puppy and a pregnant
white cat that he took pity on while he was at the shelter. Everyone was
happy. My husband thought he'd saved his son from a nervous breakdown.
Shane had a puppy, a cat and five kittens and believed his Mother had
magic powers that could change a potato into a puppy. And I was happy
because I got my potato back and cooked it for dinner.

Everything was perfect, until one evening when I was cooking dinner;
Shane tugged on my dress and asked, "Mama, do you think I could have a
pony for my birthday?"


FIREFIGHTER  HEAVEN

THE FIREFIGHTER STOOD AND FACED HIS GOD,
WHICH MUST ALWAYS COME TO PASS.
HE HOPED HIS SHOES WERE SHINING,
JUST AS BRIGHTLY AS HIS BRASS.
"STEP FORWARD NOW, YOU FIREFIGHTER,HOW SHALL I DEAL WITH YOU?
HAVE YOU ALWAYS TURNED THE OTHER CHEEK?
TO MY CHURCH HAVE YOU BEEN TRUE?"

THE FIREFIGHTER SQUARED HIS SHOULDERS AND SAID,
"NO, LORD, I GUESS I AIN'T
BECAUSE THOSE OF US WHO FIGHT FIRE,CAN'T ALWAYS BE A SAINT.
I'VE HAD TO WORK MOST SUNDAYS, AND AT TIMES MY TALK WAS ROUGH, AND SOMETIMES
I'VE BEEN VIOLENT, BECAUSE THE STREETS ARE AWFULLY TOUGH.
BUT, I NEVER TOOK A PENNY, THAT WASN'T MINE TO KEEP.
THOUGH I WORKED A LOT OF OVERTIME
WHEN THE BILLS GOT JUST TOO STEEP,
AND I NEVER PASSED A CRY FOR HELP,
THOUGH AT TIMES I SHOOK WITH FEAR, AND SOMETIMES, GOD FORGIVE ME, I'VE WEPT
UNMANLY TEARS.

I KNOW I DON'T DESERVE A PLACE AMONG THE PEOPLE HERE
THEY NEVER WANTED ME AROUND EXCEPT TO CALM THEIR FEARS.
IF YOU'VE A PLACE FOR ME HERE, LORD, IT NEED NOT BE SO GRAND,
I NEVER EXPECTED OR HAD TOO MUCH,BUT IF YOU DON'T, I'LL UNDERSTAND."

THERE WAS A SILENCE ALL AROUND THE THRONE
WHERE THE SAINTS HAD OFTEN TROD
AS THE FIREFIGHTER WAITED QUIETLY, FOR THE JUDGMENT OF HIS GOD,
"STEP FORWARD NOW YOU FIREFIGHTER, YOU'VE BORNE YOUR BURDENS WELL,
WALK PEACEFULLY ON HEAVEN'S STREETS, YOU'VE DONE YOUR TIME IN HELL."


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TIRED AMMO
Darwin Award Nominee: Unconfirmed

1990's, United States | I heard the following at work in the gun shop.
The events described below occurred in the 1990's in the Southwest.
A small-time hood (about to be even smaller) broke into the home of
a World War Two veteran and stole, among other things, the old G.I.'s
.45 automatic pistol, which he used in battle in the 1940's.

The hoodlum reported directly to a local convenience store and proceeded
to rob the cashier while brandishing his new pistol. The cashier,
no dummy, followed orders and handed over the contents of the register.

Our thug took the money and turned to leave, but suddenly decided he
didn't want to leave a witnesses. other than the security camera,
that is. He leveled the pistol at the cashier and pulled the trigger.

"CLICK!" went the gun.

At this unexpected development, the puzzled crook looked straight
down the barrel of his weapon and uttered the words, "What the...?"

As it turned out, the WWII veteran had WWII vintage ammunition in his
WWII vintage pistol. Priming caps over time are known to lose their
"spontaneous" nature, particularly if stored improperly, causing what
is known as a hang-fire: The primer smolders into a delayed ignition.

Such was the case here.

Just as the puzzled crook had the barrel pointed squarely at his own eye,
the hang-fired primer detonated, sending a half-inch chunk of lead and
associated hot combustion gases directly into the felon's skull at 900
feet per second.

The range was less than six inches.
The body could only be identified by fingerprints.

As the story was related to me, the police officer who responded to the
original gun burglary was also at the scene of the armed robbery. He
picked up the .45 and verified the serial number, then returned it to the
WWII veteran.

Case closed.




& now your at the end of the letter, I hope that you enjoyed

The times on this one are 64 seconds for 28K modem,
38 seconds for 56k modem & 18 seconds for cable/dsl

thanks, David 1