Click here for prev. issues of the newsletter. Just click a date when you get to the menu.
By the way, on some of the pictures, if you hover your pointer over the picture ya might find a comment from me on it, now that I've learned how to do that.
Now its time for the show to start & I think we'll start now!!!!
When it is not necessary to change, it is necessary not to change.
--Lucius Cary, Viscount Falkland
Take away my people, but leave my factories, and soon grass will grow on the
factory floors. Take away my factories, but leave my people, and soon we will
have a new and better factory. --Andrew Carnegie
DRINKING FROM MY SAUCER
I've never made a fortune
and it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much,
I'm happy anyhow.
And as I go along life's way,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
I don't have a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going's tough.
But I've got loved ones around me,
and that makes me rich enough.
I thank God for his blessings,
and the mercies He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'cause my cup has overflowed.
I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and the sun peeped through again.
So God, help me not to gripe about
the tough rows that I've hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
If God gives me strength and courage,
when the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings,
I'm already blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads.
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
A LITTLE SMILE
This little smile somehow found its way
onto your screen to brighten your day.
So pass it along to each of your friends,
To remind them all that friendship NEVER ends.
This may be true, or not, but it
sure is funny ...
Mr. Smith was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles.
Unexpectedly the plane stopped in Sacramento along the way. The flight
attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted
to get off the aircraft, the plane would reboard in 30 minutes. Everybody got
off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. Mr. Smith had noticed him and
could tell the blind man had flown before -- his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly
underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight.
Mr. Smith could also tell he had flown on this very flight
before, because the pilot approached him, and calling him by name, said,
"Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and
stretch your legs?" Keith replied, "No thanks, but maybe the dog would like to
stretch his legs".
Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a
complete quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the
plane with the Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People
scattered. They not only tried to change planes, they were trying to change
Have a great day, and remember -- things aren't always as
"After hearing two eyewitness accounts of an auto accident it makes you
wonder about history." -Unknown
"I don't want to say the economy is bad, but by the time the quarter hit the
ground it was only worth 80% of what it was when he first flipped it." --
'Monday Night Football' analyst Dennis Miller, on President Bush's coin toss
to begin the 2001 NFL season
My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of
country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers
and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed instrument I took to be a
mouth harp. I put it to my lips and, much to the amusement of other
shoppers, twanged a few notes on it.
After watching from a distance,
my wife came up and whispered in my ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey,
but you're trying to play a cheese slicer."
[Stolen from Reader's
I was having lunch with my nine-year-old son, when the waitress came by to
ask if we wanted a drink. "I'll have a decapitated coffee," my son said
facetiously. The waitress smiled and poured him a cup.
Not to be
outdone, she later returned with the coffeepot and said, "Can I put a head
on that for you?"
*------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea.
"I do wish that my
Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous."
"My William used to do the same thing," the other woman replied.
"But I broke him of the habit."
"I hid his teeth."
Hey Susan, is this a good idea
A FATHER'S GIFT
man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had
admired a beautiful "sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his
father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As
Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had
purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father
called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to
have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his
son a beautifully wrapped gift box.
Curious, and somewhat disappointed,
the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound
Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angry, he rose his
voice to his father and said "With all your money, you give me a Bible?" and
stormed out of the house.
Many years passed and the young man was very
successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family,
but realized his father was getting very old, and thought perhaps he
should go to him. He had not seen him since that fateful graduation day.
Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling
him his father had passed away, and had willed all of his possessions to his
son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret
filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers
and saw the still partially gift-wrapped Bible, just as he had left it years
ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father
had carefully underlined a verse, Matthew 7:11, "And if ye, being evil, know
how to give good gifts to your children,how much more shall your Heavenly
Father which is in Heaven, give to those who ask Him?"
As he read
those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with
the dealer's name, the same dealer who had had the sports car he had desired.
On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL.
"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and
so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open
-Alexander Graham Bell--
A KITCHEN TIP OR TWO.....
Butter, margarine, and olive oil are not good
choices for deep frying or cooking that involves high heat because of
their low smoking points. (As any novice cook has found out after it is too
Never fill a pressure cooker with more food than half its
capacity if the contents are mainly liquid, or two-thirds if the contents
are mainly solid. (DITTO--about the above- mentioned
Virtually all fresh fruits lose their flavor rapidly when
soaked in water, so always wash them quickly in gently flowing water just
before using and dry at once.
To test the freshness of fish make sure
its eyes are bulging, its gills are reddish, the scales are adhering
firmly to the skin, and the flesh is firm to the touch. (Use your nose,
Written by a San Diego Father who has discovered these truths he learned
while caring for his children:
There is no such thing as childproofing
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over
them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 4-year-old's voice is
louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog
leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound
boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a Superman cape.
It is strong
enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20'
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
A ceiling fan can hit a
baseball a long ways.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush
and the words "uh-oh", it is already too late.
Members of this large species of flatfish are prized for their
fine texture and delicate flavor. Some of the better known members of
the flounder family are Dab, English Sole and Plaice. In America, flounder is
often mislabeled as fillet of sole— a misnomer because all of the fish called
"sole" (except for imported European DOVER SOLE) are actually varieties
of flounder. Flounder is available whole or in fillets. It can be baked,
broiled, poached, steamed or sautéed.
CRISPY BAKED FLOUNDER
1/4 cup finely chopped onion 1/4 cup finely
chopped green bell pepper 1 garlic clove, minced 2 tsp vegetable oil 2
tbsp fine dry bread crumbs 2 flounder fillets (each about 6 ounces) 2 tbsp
In a heavy skillet cook onion, bell pepper, and garlic in oil
over moderately low heat, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are
softened and stir in bread crumbs and salt and pepper to taste.
On a work surface arrange flounder skinned
sides up and spread top with mayonnaise. Sprinkle flounder with bread
crumb mixture and on oiled rack of a broiler pan broil about 6 inches
from heat until cooked through, about 6 minutes. Serves 2. (or ONE if they
like it as much as *I* do!!)
A CYNIC'S GUIDE TO LIFE.....
(Did you ever watch a cynic's eyes when they
talk? Deep down I think they are really frustrated comedians!!)
your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear
during a fire drill.
Always take time to stop and smell the
roses... and sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee.
If a motorist cuts
you off, just turn the other cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a
Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the four
food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack group, the caffeine
group, and the
"whatever-the-thing-in-the- tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is" group.
Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows
This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent of pigs in
a blanket. That's the price you pay for letting the relatives stay over.
It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
like a roller coaster: when it's good you don't want to get off, and when it
isn't... you can't wait to throw up.
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Combine margarine, oil,
garlic, and pepper in a large bowl. Add shrimp and toss lightly to coat.
Spread shrimp, in a single layer, in a shallow oven-safe casserole dish.
Broil shrimp approximately 4-inches (8cm) from the heat for 3-4 minutes.
Turn shrimp, and broil for an additional 3-4 minutes (or until lightly
browned). Sprinkle with fresh chopped parsley and serve.
Information Per Serving: 91 Calories 1 g Carbohydrate; 14 g Fat; 109 mg
Sodium; 92 mg Cholesterol Exchanges: 2 Lean Meat
Mix together flour,
melted butter, and nuts. Place this into a 9x13 inch pan. Bake for 14
minutes at 350 degrees F. Set aside.
Mix together cream cheese,
powdered sugar and cool whip and spread over crust, and chill.
together the pudding mix, vanilla and flavoring and beat until thick then
pour this over the cream cheese layer that has been chilling. Spread
additional Cool Whip on top and sprinkle with nuts.
"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
Went to the office fridge to get my bagles and cream cheese to make some
dinner while I'm working late, only to find that somebody had polished off
the last half of my container of cream cheese, leaving only a little bit of
residue in the container. Grrr. Hate that.
========================= The Thieving Joker ========================= Stolen
from: Bonehead-Of-The-Day To sign up --> http://Bonehead.Oddballs.com All
materials written by Jerry Lerman are Copyright 2001 by Jerry Lerman. All
Rights Reserved. ==================== http://www.ThievingJoker.net
Bonehead award three goes to a 5 ft 1 inch
firefighter in the UK who, being so short:
· Cannot reach equipment on
the fire truck,
· Cannot pull the hoses from the fire truck,
Cannot lift ladders because they are too long,
· Cannot clean the fire
engine because she cannot reach all areas,
· Cannot use cutting equipment
on large commercial vehicles and,
· Cannot reach the emergency keys in an
elevator and so cannot handle emergencies involving elevators
now says that she has become embarrassed and depressed and so has decided to
SUE the fire brigade for:
· Not making shorter fire trucks so she can
reach equipment, pull hoses and clean all areas,
· Not using shorter
· Not making smaller cutting equipment and smaller commercial
· Not making sure all elevators have keys she can
She is claiming sexual discrimination. Huh???
make her the poster woman for the "it's everyone else's