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By the way, on some of the pictures, if you hover your pointer over the picture ya might find a comment from me on it,
now that I've learned how to do that.



Now its time for the show to start & I think we'll start now!!!!


My son Jamie <LOL>








WHY GOVERNMENT NEEDS YOUR MONEY"

This last April, on the day federal income tax returns were due, the
Libertarian Party released a list to remind the public how their
money gets spent by the government.  The list was released by
Libertarian Party national director Steve Dasbach and is titled "Top
10 Most Ridiculous Things That Politicians Are Spending Your Money On
This Year."

1.  A retirement program for chimpanzees. Congress has created the
Chimpanzee Health Improvement, Maintenance and Protection Act
(CHIMP), which will spend $45,000 per animal in 2001. "Proving that
once again, politicians are making a monkey out of the taxpayer,"
Dasbach said.

2. Turning taxpayer money into dung. Congress voted to give $4
million to the International Fertilizer Development Center for waste
research.

3. Subsidizing politicians' erections. "Congress's health insurance
program actually covers Viagra, which demonstrates that the worst
case of electile dysfunction in the world can be found here in
Washington," said Dasbach.

4. Paying teenagers not to have sex. An "emergency" spending
provision in the 2001 military construction bill includes $20 million
to pay for a teenage abstinence program.

5. A Dr. Seuss memorial. The Housing and Urban Development bill
contains $400,000 for a memorial to the author of "Green Eggs and
Ham." Dasbach called it "a classic case of Pork-I-Am."

6. Spying on your e-mail. The FBI's Carnivore computer snooping
program threatens to take the bite out of your privacy and devour the
Fourth Amendment.

7. Looking at you naked. US Customs officials at dozens of airports
are now using the high-tech Bodysearch scanner, which can see body
contours right through your clothes. "These X-rated X-rays have
turned airport bureaucrats into peeping Toms and are stripping
innocent Americans of their privacy," said Dasbach.

8. Subsidizing an insect lab. Republican Senator Thad Cochran (R-
Miss.) cost taxpayers $5 million when he inserted money into an
agriculture bill to build an insect laboratory in his home state of
Mississippi, which explains why Americans are bugged by high taxes.

9. Subsidizing religion. "President Bush's plan to funnel tax dollars
to faith-based charities shows that what politicians really worship
is Big Government," said Dasbach.

10. Urging fat people to walk. The Centers for Disease Control spent
$14,900 to decorate a stairwell to encourage obese employees to walk,
rather than take the elevator.

As this list demonstrates, in Washington, DC, no dollar will go
unspent...no matter how silly the waste of your bucks.




Have some info to share?
mailto:Firesongs_Funnies@hotmail.com?subject=FYI


THE WIT WIZARD savagely exposes America's frauds, fools,
freaks & foibles, harpoons the hypocrites and punctures the pompous.
Free politically incorrect social satire weekly

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ANOTHER MOMENT TO PONDER
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.


A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic.
He walks up to the driver's window and asks, "You drinkin'?"

The driver said, "Well, that depends... You buyin'?"


HOw true !





I know that feeling.



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Socket and wrench sets now come in inch and metric and they are hard
to read the sizes.

I spray paint white the metric sockets and wrenchs to identify at a
glance the type I need. 


Have a good tip to share?
mailto:Firesongs_Funnies@hotmail.com?subject=TIP


Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three
weeks before you need it.


Have a good PONDER to share?
mailto:Firesongs_Funnies@hotmail.com?subject=POnder


While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed
several students on their hands and knees assessing the
courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are
they doing?" I asked our tour guide.

"Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask
the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this
courtyard."

"So what's the answer?" my friend asked him when we were out
of earshot of the freshmen.

The guide replied, "One."


JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DEALING WITH? Tracy Vickers of St.
  Petersburg, Fla., was sitting in his car at a gas station waiting
for
  the car in front of him to move. A man got out of that car and came
  over to his window and asked the time. When he looked away to check,
  "he reaches in the window, snags my chain and says, 'Gotcha',"
Vickers
  said. "That made me mad." The gold chain is worth about $1,000. The
man
  sped off with Vickers in hot pursuit. At one point the getaway car
took
  a sharp turn and "was pretty much on two wheels," so Vickers "just
gave
  him [a] nudge" which rolled the fleeing car over. Vickers bashed
  through the driver's window and yanked the man out. "About the third
  time I kneed him in the face, he threw the chain," said the 6-foot,
  280-pound Vickers. Officers suggested that his actions were "not
  recommended by police," but didn't charge him with any crime. (St. Petersburg Times) ...No, that might make him mad.


WHITE SALSA
************************************************************

INGREDIENTS:
1 cup sour cream
1 cup mayonnaise
juice from 3 limes
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1 1/2 cups finely chopped cilantro
6-ounce can black olives (pitted), drained and chopped
1 1/2 cups green onions, finely chopped
5 teaspoons hot pepper sauce
pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS:
In a medium bowl, combine mayonnaise and sour cream, mixing
well. Add lime juice, garlic, cilantro, black olives,
scallions, hot pepper sauce, salt and pepper. Taste and
adjust seasonings for personal preference. Refrigerate for
2 hours before serving to allow flavors to blend. Serve with
tortilla chips.

Category: Appetizers, Dips
http://www.thedailyrecipe.com











MORE PARTY TIDBITS:

Only place one or two different kinds of appetizers on each
serving tray. Having a jumble of a myriad of different
appetizers on one tray confuses the eye and it can make it
difficult for your guests to choose which one they want to
sample.

Make sure there are plenty of receptacles for waste. Nobody
wants to see untidy piles of toothpicks, olive pits or shrimp
tails scattered through out the serving tables and the room.

Don't make appetizers too large. They should be able to be
eaten in one or two bites. Decide ahead of time whether or
not you will be passing trays of appetizers around or whether
you will keep them all on a stationary surface. If passing
appetizers, be sure to choose trays that aren't too large and heavy.


 An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. 
The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the 
cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a
 
few feet in front of the sheriff.
 
"Howdy, Stranger." "Howdy, Sheriff."
 
The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of the horse, lifted his tail
 and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine.
 
He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk, and aimed 
towards the swing doors of the saloon.  "Hold on there, Mister," 
said the Sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"
 
"Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."
 
"And does that cure them?" the Sheriff asked.
 
"Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em.



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Just checking to make sure your looking at this.






& now your at the end of the letter, I hope that you enjoyed

The times on this one are 245 seconds for 28K modem,
145 seconds for 56k modem & 67 seconds for cable/dsl

thanks, David #