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By the way, on some of the pictures, if you hover your pointer over the picture ya might find a comment from me on it, now that I've learned how to do that.
Now its time for the show to start & I think we'll start now!!!!
FEWER MAILINGS COULD CAUSE STAMP HIKE Because of the events of 9/11 and the
subsequent anthrax scare, the post office reports a big downturn in the
number of letters and parcels it's handling. Hence, according to some
published reports, there is talk of a rate increase to make up for the income
shortfall. The drop in the number of pieces going through the system is the
biggest downturn in government postal usage in three decades. Even with
the decrease in mailings, some report that delivery times are down. It can
take a week for a postcard to reach Las Vegas from Washington state. There
is talk in Washington of increasing the cost of a first-class stamp by three
cents to 37 cents. The head of the government's postal regulatory board is
quoted, as saying that he thinks consumers will accept the hike,
particularly when they realize what his agency has gone through in the past
few months.
The ABC's that make dreams --------------------------
Avoid negative
people, places, things and habits.
Believe in yourself.
Consider
things from every angle.
Don't give up and don't give in.
Enjoy
life today, Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow may never come!
Family and
friends are hidden treasures. Seek them and enjoy their riches.
Give
more than you planned.
Hang on to your dreams.
Ignore those who
try to discourage you!
Just do it!
Keep trying no matter how hard
it seems. It will get easier!
Love yourself first and most.
Make
dreams happen.
Never lie, cheat or steal. Always strike a fair
deal.
Open your eyes and see things as they really are.
Practice
makes perfect.
Quitters never win and winners never quit!
Read and
learn about everything important to you.
Stop
procrastinating!
Take control of your own destiny.
Understand
yourself in order to better understand others.
Visualize your
dreams.
Want your dream more than anything.
X-ccelerate your
efforts.
You are a unique individual. Nothing can replace
YOU!
Zero in on your goals and GO FOR THEM!
Hugging Is
Hugging is healthy. It helps the immune system,
cures depression, reduces stress and induces sleep. It's invigorating,
rejuvenating and has no unpleasant side effects. Hugging is nothing less than
a miracle drug.
Hugging is all natural. It is organic, naturally
sweet, no artificial ingredients, non-polluting, environmentally friendly
and 100 percent wholesome.
Hugging is the ideal gift. Great for any
occasion, fun to give and receive, shows you care, comes with its
own wrapping and, of course, fully returnable.
Hugging is practically
perfect. No batteries to wear out, inflation-proof, non-fattening, no monthly
payments, theft-proof and non-taxable.
Hugging is an underutilized
resource with magical powers. When we open our hearts and arms we encourage
others to do the same.
Think of the people in your life. Are there any
words you'd like to say? Are there any hugs you want to share? Are
you waiting and hoping someone else will ask first? Please don't wait!
Initiate!
INGREDIENTS 2
cups cooked chicken, cubed 9 ounces frozen mixed vegetables, slightly
thawed 2 cups elbow macaroni,uncooked 1 cup American cheese,shredded 10
3/4 ounces condensed cream of celery soup 2 cups water 1/2 cup plain
bread crumbs 2 tablespoons margarine or butter,
melted
DIRECTIONS: In large bowl, combine all casserole ingredients;
mix well. Pour Into ungreased 8-inch square (1-1/2 quart) baking dish.
Cover tightly; refrigerate 8 hours. Heat oven to 350°F. In small bowl,
combine topping ingredients; mix well. Stir casserole; sprinkle with topping
of 1/2-cup bread crumbs and 2 tablespoons margarine or butter, melted.. Bake
at 350°F. for 45 to 55 minutes or until bubbly and golden
brown.
Most casseroles may be frozen, but should be used
within 2 months. You can freeze a casserole cooked or uncooked right in
its baking dish. First, line the baking dish with aluminum foil, leaving
enough overhang to cover and seal in the food later. Add casserole
ingredients and either freeze immediately or cook, cool to room temperature,
then freeze. Once frozen, use the overhanging foil ends to lift it out of the
dish. Cover tightly with the excess foil then seal in a heavy duty
freezer bag, or double bag. Be sure to label it so you'll know what it is
in a few months, and mark it with the date. You can then thaw and cook the
dish in the original baking dish. Thaw in the refrigerator overnight, or
allow about double the time in a 350 degree oven. Check with a knife inserted
in the center if thawing and cooking at the same time.
Pepper Coconut Chicken
boneless, skinless chicken breast..4 halves red
or yellow bell pepper....1 large shredded coconut........1/4 cup peanut
butter.........1/4 cup orange juice.....1/2 cup rubbed sage.........1 t
curry powder......... 2 t brown rice...(optional).... 1cup
********************************************************************* mix
peanut butter, juice, sage and curry powder in glass bowl. puncture surface
of chicken breast several times using two forks. Place chicken in marinade,
cover and refrigerate for 1 ½ hours. Place chicken and bell pepper on medium
heated grill, cover for 8-10 minutes. Turn chicken over and repeat. 15-20
minutes total or until it is no longer pink on the inside. Boil brown
until tender serve: slice the chicken and bell peppers in ½ inch strips,
top equally with coconut, add butter to brown rice and salt to taste. GI
= low, Carbohydrates (with rice) = 19grams (with out) = 9grams per
serving Makes 4 servings Side dish: (Serve with spinach salad and sliced
hard boiled eggs) This can be baked in the oven at 350 for 45
minutes
Butter Pecan Bread
1 Pkg. butter pecan cake mix 1-3oz. pkg. butter
pecan flavor instant pudding 4 eggs 3/4 C. oil (or applesauce for
low-fat) 3/4 C. water 1 C. chopped
pecans **************************************************************************
Combine
all ingredients except pecans. Mix well, then fold in nuts. Pour into greased
& floured loaf pans. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes, or until
cake tester comes out clean.
Black Forest Mini Cheesecakes
24 Vanilla wafer cookies 16 oz Cream
cheese; softened 1 1/4 cups Sugar 1/3 cup Hershey's Cocoa 2 tbsp
All-purpose flour 3 Eggs 8 oz Dairy sour cream 1/2 tsp Almond
extract Canned cherry pie filling chilled
Heat oven to 325 degrees
Line muffin cups (2-1/2 inches in diameter), with foil bake cups. Place
one vanilla wafer (flat-side down) in bottom of each cup. In large bowl,
beat cream cheese until smooth. Add sugar, cocoa and flour; blend well. Add
eggs; beat well. Stir in sour cream and almond extract. Fill each muffin
cup almost full with batter. Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until set. Remove from
oven; cool 5 to 10 minutes. Spread heaping teaspoonful sour cream Topping on
each cup. Cool completely in pan on wire rack; refrigerate. Just before
serving, garnish with cherry pie filling. Cover; refrigerate left over
cheesecakes. 1-1/2 to 2 dozen cheesecakes.
Don't wait for your "ship to come in" and feel angry and cheated when
it doesn't. Get going with something small. - -- Irene Kassorla
"Failure is an event, never a person." - William D. Brown
V A - R O O O O M ! -- The Palm Springs, CA International Airport is
the first in the nation to offer arriving passengers rental Harley-Davidsons
which start at $99 a day including helmet and leathers. (LA
Times)
¨ Additional options include tattoos, a rap sheet and a
sleazy looking biker chick.
Question: What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher
Columbus have in common?
Answer: Each was born on a holiday.
Did Ya Know Or Do Ya Care?
More American kids age 3-5 recognize Ronald
McDonald than Santa Claus.
In a 2001 Procter & Gamble poll, 93
percent of the people questioned recognized Mr. Clean but only 56 percent of
the same group could identify President George Bush.
The typical 30
second TV ad costs about the same to produce as the half hour program it
interrupts.
On the average, you'll spend a year and a half of your life
watching TV commercials.
The first advertisement to discuss body odor
was a 1919 ad for a deodorant called, ' Odo-Ro-No.
Advertisers spend
about $400 a year on each newspaper subscriber and $300 a year on each
television household.
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't
have paid for me.
There once was a man named George Thomas, a pastor in a small New England
town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent,
old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if
in response, Pastor Thomas began to speak. "I was walking through town
yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage.
On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds shivering with cold
and fright. I stopped the lad and asked, What you got there son?
"Just some old birds." came the reply. What are you gonna do with them?" I
asked.
"Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. "I'm gonna
tease 'em and pull out their feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a
real good time."
"But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or
later. What will you do?"
"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy.
"They like birds. I'll take'em to them."
The pastor was silent for a
moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?"
"Huh?? !!! Why,
you don't want them birds, mister. They're just plain old field birds. They
don't sing - they ain't even pretty!"
"How much?" the pastor asked
again.
The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said,
"$10?" The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He
placed it in the boy's hand. In a flash, the boy was gone.
The pastor
picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of the alley where there
was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door,
and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them
free.
Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then
the pastor began to tell this story.
Satan had just come from the Garden
of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the
world full of people down there. Set me a trap,used bait I knew they couldn't
resist. Got 'em all!"
"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus
asked.
Satan replied, "Oh,I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how
to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to
drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and
bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!"
So Jesus said,
"And what will you do when you get done with them?"
"Oh, I'll kill
'em," Satan glared proudly.
"How much do you want for them?" Jesus
asked.
"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why,
you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you
and kill you!! You don't want those people!"
"How much?" He asked
again.
Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your tears, and all
your blood."
Jesus said, "DONE!"
Then He paid the
price.
The pastor picked up the cage, he opened the door and he walked
from the pulpit.
Firesongs_Funnies-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Did you know that burying banana peels at the base of your rosebushes is
good for the roses? I had read this once in a magazine and then saw a Martha
Stewart Show in which the master gardener at (I think) the Brooklyn
Botanical Gardens used the same technique. Guess it must be the potassium in
the peels.
Because I was processing my first accident report at the transport company
where I worked, I was being particularly attentive.
The driver had
hit a deer on the highway, and the result was a severely damaged hood and
fender. My serious mood was broken, however, when I reached the section of
the report that asked, "Speed of other vehicle?"
The driver had put,
"Full gallop
A sheriff's deputy in Santa Cruz, Calif., noticed a car weaving down the
road and pulled it over. The driver wasn't intoxicated, he was 12 years
old. "He was weaving because he couldn't see over the dashboard," said
Kim Allyn, the department's spokesman, noting the boy "was no taller than 4
feet. The deputy thought he had a drunk driver, but he ended up with a punk
driver." The boy's reaction to being told he was under arrest? "Boy! My
girlfriend is going to be mad at me!" The car turned out to be stolen. "I
think he's going to be grounded for the rest of his natural life," Allyn
said, marveling at the kid's audacity. "This guy has already got a
girlfriend, he's got a car -- even though it's not his -- and he's got
bleached hair. It's way beyond 12-year-old behavior." (San Francisco
Chronicle)
W A R N I N G ! ! ! I loved this next one ! !
After experiencing difficulties with his computer, a poor, incognizant
user called the system maker's technical support line for assistance...
Technician: Hello. How can I help you today? Customer: There's smoke
coming from the power supply on my computer... Technician: Looks like
you need a new power supply... Customer: No, I don't! I just need to change
the start-up files... Technician: Sir, what you described is a faulty power
supply. You need to replace it... Customer: No way! Someone told
me that I just had to change the system start-up files to fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the right command...
For the next ten minutes, in spite of the technician's efforts to
explain the problem and its solution, the customer adamantly insisted
that he was right. So, in frustration, the technician responded...
Technician: I'm sorry. We don't normally tell our customers this, but
there's an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem...
Customer: I knew it! Technician: Just add the line "LOAD NOSMOKE.COM" at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS file and everything should work fine. Let me know
how it goes... About ten minutes later, the technician received a call back
from the customer... Customer: It didn't work. The power supply is
still smoking... Technician: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
Customer: MS-DOS 6.22... Technician: Well, that's your problem. That
version of DOS doesn't include NOSMOKE. You'll need to contact Microsoft
and ask them for a patch. Let me know how it all works out...
When
nearly an hour had passed, the phone rang again... Customer: I need a new
power supply... Technician: How did you come to that conclusion?
Customer: Well, I called Microsoft and told the technician what you
said, and he started asking me questions about the make of the power
supply... Technician: What did he tell you? Customer: He said my
power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE...
Ohh yeahhhh, I can think of a few people right off the top of my head.
========================= The Thieving Joker ========================= Stolen
from: Bonehead-Of-The-Day To sign up --> http://Bonehead.Oddballs.com All
materials written by Jerry Lerman are Copyright 2001 by Jerry Lerman. All
Rights Reserved. ==================== http://www.ThievingJoker.net
====================
Big brother is definitely not watching in
Prague.
Bonehead award one goes to a police station in Prague where the
theft of three of their live, 24-hour per day monitored outside
security cameras, worth about $15,000, went unnoticed for THREE
DAYS!
The police have officially explained it as "human error." ...
somehow.
Bonehead
award two, a "too dumb to be a criminal bonehead award," goes to an Osaka,
Japan, wannabe bank robber who, after demanding $30,000 from the teller, sat
down patiently, as instructed, to wait for his money, according to
police.
Sometimes
having your car crashed can make you feel good.
Bonehead award three goes
to a Scottish man from Milnathort who, after carrying on over his
girlfriend's driving, took over the wheel and promptly crashed the car,
earning a $500 fine since he wasn't even qualified to drive, let alone
complain about someone else's driving.
Scottish Daily Record 8-Jan-02
& now your at the end of the letter, I hope that you enjoyed
The times on this one are 159 seconds for 28K modem, 94 seconds for 56k modem & 43 seconds for cable/dsl
