Modern Day Cowboy

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A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing 
the Dakota prairie without water. 

His horse had already died of thirst. 
He's crawling along the dusty ground, certain that
 he has breathed his last breath, 
when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of 
the ground several yards ahead of him. 

He crawls to the object, 
pulls it out of the ground and discovers 
what looks to be an old briefcase. 

He opens it and out pops a genie. 

But this is no ordinary genie. 

She is wearing an IRS ID badge and 
a dull gray dress. 

There's a calculator in her pocketbook. 
She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. 
'Well, cowboy,' says the genie, 

'You know how I work....You have three wishes.' 

'I'm not falling for this,' said the cowboy, 

'I'm not going to trust an IRS genie.' 

'What do you have to lose? 
You've got no transportation, and it 
looks like you're a goner anyway!' 

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and
 decides that the genie is right.

'OK! I wish I were along-side a lush spring with
 plenty of food and drink.' 

***POOF*** 

The cowboy finds himself beside the most beautiful
 spring he has ever seen, and he's surrounded with
 jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. 

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.' 

'My second wish is that I was rich ....
beyond my wildest dreams.' 


** *POOF*** 

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests
 filled with rare gold coins and precious gems. 

'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish.

Better make it a good one!' 

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says,

'I wish that no matter where I go,
 beautiful women will want and need me.' 

***POOF*** 

He was turned into a tampon. 

Moral of the story: 

If the U.S. government offers to help you, 

there's going to be a string attached.