Cowboy rules

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Cowboy rules for:
Arizona, Texas , Oklahoma , Colorado, New Mexico , Wyoming , 
Montana, Utah , Nebraska , Idaho , and the rest of the Wild West
are as follows:
 
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
 
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
 
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive
    a pickup truck because I want to. 
    No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust 
    on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
 
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They 
     smell like money to us. Get over it. 
     Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 
     goes north and south. Pick one and go.
 
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have 
    $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
 
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being 
    friendly. Try to understand the concept.
 
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of 
    geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a
    hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand.
    You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
 
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want 
     sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
 
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's
     a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the 
     first of November.
 
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, 
       regardless of age.
 
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order 
      steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off 
      the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
 
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: 
      meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: 
      salt, pepper, and ketchup! 
      Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati
      call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
 
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, 
      wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into
      my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive 
      a truck, and have long hair.
 
14. College and High School Football is as important here
      as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and 
      the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
 
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water
       hazards - it spooks the fish.
 
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump 
       ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore  than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
 
A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!


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