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A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."

The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a

police station.

One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

A woman phoned her blonde neighbour man and said: "Close your curtains

the next time you & your wife are having sex.

The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because

I wasn't even at home yesterday."

A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the

shampoo?"

He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and

I've just wet mine."

A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.

It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone

"My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to

swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.

A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in

the road.

The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"

A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.

His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"

He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.

"What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.

"Here boy!" he replies.

A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by

his feet.

"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.

"Hanging myself," the blond replies.

"It should be around your neck" says the guard.

"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

(This one actually makes sense.)

 

An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall

backwards off their boats?" To which the blonde man replies: "If they

fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's Winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!",
Updates for 2015-01-16 start here.
Finally. The Blonde Joke to end all blonde jokes! A blonde woman was,
Updates for 2015-03-04 start here.
Blondes be like I saw your phone! Who the hell is Amber Alert,
Updates for 2016-02-16 start here.
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