When people see a cat's litter box they always say,
'Oh, have you got a cat?'
Just once I want to say,
'No, it's for company!'
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be
called in case of an emergency.
I think you should write, 'An ambulance.'
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible
a whole lot more as they get older.
Then it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
Birds of a feather flock together and
then crap on your car.
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because
by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.