A Little Italian Wisdom:
Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Witnesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.
Do you know why most men
from Italy are named Tony?
On the boat over to America they put a
sticker on them that said (To New York ) TO NY
You know you're
Italian when . . .
You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a
day and still cry when your mother yells at you.
You carry your
lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4
oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.
mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are
all your cousins.
You have at least 5 cousins living in the same
town or on the same block. All five of those cousins are named after your
grandfather or grandmother.
You are on a first name basis with at
least 8 banquet hall owners
You only get one good shave from a
If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it
is presumed his Mother had an affair.
There were more than 28
people in your bridal party.
You netted more than $50,000 on your
And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when .
. . .
Your grand father had a fig tree.
You eat Sunday
dinner at 2:00.
Christmas Eve . . . only fish.
meatballs are the best.
You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had
a shoe thrown at you.
Clear plastic covers on all the furniture.
You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella."
You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy."
You've called someone a "mamaluke."
And you understand
This is why I love the Italian culture....they are
very natural and earthy...please enjoy this truth about Italians. Enjoy!
Italians have a $40,000 kitchen, but use the $259 stove from Sears
in the basement to cook.
There is some sort of religious statue in
the hallway, living room, bedroom, front porch and backyard.
living room is filled with old wedding favors with poofy net bows and
stale almonds (they are too pretty to open).
A portrait of the
Pope and Frank Sinatra hang in the dining room.
Heaven forbid if
anyone EVER attempted to eat 'Chef Boy-AR-dee', 'Franco American', 'Ragu',
'Prego', or anything else labeled as Italian in a jar or can.
Meatballs are made with pork, veal and beef. Italians do not care
Turkey is served on Thanksgiving AFTER the
manicotti, gnocchi, lasagna, and minestrone or shcarole soup.
anyone EVER says ESCAROLE, slap 'em in the face -- it's
Sunday dinner was
at 2:00 PM sharp. The meal went like this...
The table was set with
everyday dishes. It doesn't matter if they don't match. They're clean;
what more do you want?
All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin
goes on the left.
A clean kitchen towel was put at Nonna's & Papa's
plates because they won't use napkins.
Homemade wine and bottles of 7-UP are on the table.
First course, Antipasto...
Second course, macaroni.
All pasta was called
macaroni... Change plates.
Third course, roast beef, potatoes and vegetables...
THEN, and only then - NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL - would
you eat the salad drenched in homemade oil & vinegar
Next course, fruit & nuts - in the shell -
on paper plates because you ran out of the real ones.
coffee with anisette espresso for Nonna, 'American' coffee for the rest -
with hard cookies (biscotti) to dunk in the coffee.
The kids would
go out to play.
The men would go lay down. They slept so soundly
that you could do brain surgery on them without anesthesia.
women cleaned the kitchen.
We got screamed at by Mom or Nonna, and
half of the sentences were English, the other half Italian.
Italian mothers never threw a
baseball in their life, but could nail you in the head with a shoe thrown
from the kitchen while you were in the living room.
particular to Italians...
The prom dress
that Zia Ceserina made you cost only $20.00, which was for the material.
The prom hairdo was done free by Cousin Angela.
around at the prom to see your entire family, including your Godparents,
standing in the back of the gym...PRICELESS!
True Italians will love this.
Those of you who are married to Italians will understand this.
And those who wish they were Italian, and those who are friends
with Italians, will remember with a smile.
Then they'll forward
this to their Italian friends with love or a reasonable facsimile.
Please Click here for 6-pics
That is A great group Where I get a lot of my stuff from & Marie is a great Mod there!!.