The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.
Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family’s status, she consulted the family doctor.
doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt
to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her
to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then,
talk to her and give her a box of condoms.
that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told
her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.
The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying,
“Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!”
man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the
preacher's hand. He said, “Preacher, I’ll tell you, that was a damned
fine sermon. Damned good!”
The preacher said, “Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.”
The man said, “I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!”
The preacher said, “No shit?”
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With
some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, “Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.”
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
“Gee, Mom,” he exclaimed, “for me?”
“Just take two,” Brenda replied. “The rest are for your father.”
DO NOT LAUGH
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her
husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up
pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him
Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defence.
“Your Honour,” she began coolly, “I figured that at 92, if he could screw,
he could fly.”
A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa…
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.
fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm
caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing
that’s the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat
it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief
and suffering for years after eating it?”
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, “Wedding Cake.”
DARE YOU LAUGH
a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club
with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired
woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and
charm and who hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every
His buddies at
the club are all aghast. At their very first chance, they corner him
and ask, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?” Bob replied,
“Girlfriend? She's my wife!” They’re knocked over, but continue to
ask: “So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?” “I lied about my age,”
Bob replied. “What? Did you tell her you were only 50?”
Bob smiled and said, “No, I told her I was 90.”
of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Switzerland .As they
stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of
cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the
group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing.
she explained, “are the older goats put out to pasture when they no
longer produce.” She then asked, “What do you do in America with your
A spry old gentleman answered, “They send us on bus tours!”
LAUGHING NOT PTOHIBETD
I received this from Zehera Kassam, all I have on her is an email Addy so I'm not linking that. BUT if you can find one of her groups, She has some really great stuff!!! I use a lot of it & she also sends to 6-Pics.