April Fool's 2013

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Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Old Lady:

I am 94 years old.

Defense Attorney:

Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm
spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:

Did you know him?

Old Lady:

No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:

What happened after he sat down?

Old Lady:

He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him?

Old Lady:

No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

Little Old Lady:

It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died
some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Old Lady:

He began to rub all over of my body.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him then?

Old Lady:

No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

Old Lady:

His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.
I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Old Lady:

Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down
and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now! '

Defense Attorney:

Did he take you?

Old Lady:

Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"

And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.